{"id":586,"date":"2011-05-02T21:17:32","date_gmt":"2011-05-03T04:17:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/billchapin.net\/allthecitylights\/?p=586"},"modified":"2015-01-12T09:31:53","modified_gmt":"2015-01-12T17:31:53","slug":"nitpicking-the-hits-jeremih-50-cent-bring-club-culture-and-rape-culture-together-with-down-on-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/billchapin.net\/allthecitylights\/2011\/05\/nitpicking-the-hits-jeremih-50-cent-bring-club-culture-and-rape-culture-together-with-down-on-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Nitpicking the Hits: Jeremih, 50 Cent bring club culture and rape culture together with “Down on Me”"},"content":{"rendered":"

In this feature, I examine the lyrics to a current Top 10 hit in excruciating detail for no reason other than to mock it\u2014and maybe to encourage better pop songwriting.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
To be fair, it's hard for Jeremih to bargle nawdle zouss with all those marbles in his mouth. (via jeremih.com)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The hit:<\/strong> “Down on Me,” a come-on from R&B “singer” Jeremih<\/a>, whose drawling, Auto-Tuned vocals make him sound like the world’s most lethargic robot\u2014one whose programming doesn’t allow him to be bothered with such human concerns as enunciation or pitch variation. (More like Jere-“meh,” amirite?) He is assisted by the only rapper capable of matching this level of charisma, 50 Cent<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Chart position:<\/strong> The song’s long, 24-week climb up the charts peaked last week at No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100. This week it got pushed down a spot to No. 5 after Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” (a song I actually like<\/a>) zipped into the No. 2 position.<\/p>\n

The general idea:<\/strong> Jeremih has spotted a pretty girl on the dance floor and intends to win her favor by dancing with her in a dirty, freaky manner.<\/p>\n

LET’S NITPICK THIS SUCKER<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

She want it, I can tell she want it
\nWant me to push up on it ‘fore she know when I’m all on it<\/em><\/p>\n

Oh boy, it’s one of those<\/em> songs: the sexual assault jam. “Girl,” Fi’ty seems to be saying, “don’t even pretend like you don’t want me to rub my junk against you.” Songs that tap into this ugly sentiment\u2014reinforcing the notion that unwanted sexual advances are justified if the woman is “asking for it” by dressing or dancing too provocatively\u2014are becoming distressingly common and popular. I bet you $5 that, at some point in this song, Jeremih will reveal his plan to get this conquest wasted so that he can have sex with her.<\/p>\n

OK she headed to the dance floor and she slowly start to poppin’ it
\nSomething like my wrist [incomprehensible] everybody got to watching it<\/em><\/p>\n

Ha ha, I love it. Jeremih so thoroughly mumbles his way through this line that whoever transcribed this version<\/a> of the lyrics threw up his or her hands and declared the words impossible to comprehend. Whatever it is, it’s only one syllable long, and everyone seems to agree that “wrist” precedes it.\u00a0This site<\/a> thinks the mystery word is “piece,” which would work as a play on words only if it was common knowledge that Jeremih has a watch that makes some sort of popping noise. This video<\/a> thinks it’s “’cause,” which is just hilarious. I’m picturing everybody in the club mesmerized by Jeremih’s wrist.<\/p>\n

Girl, you got that secret treasure, I’m gonna put a lock on it<\/em><\/p>\n

Is he talking about chastity belts?<\/p>\n

Let’s go and take nine shots, we’ll just call it 50<\/em><\/p>\n

I understand the reference to how Fi’ty nearly died trying<\/a>, but NINE SHOTS??? Let’s just call it a guaranteed blackout. (Also, you owe me $5.)<\/p>\n

And I’m gonna lick it, lick it, lick it
\n‘Til her hicky have her river running<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
50 Cent displays the same sensitivity toward women in this song as he did toward tsunami victims on Twitter. (via 50cent.com)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Hicky? What are we, in eight grade? How about it, girls? Do hickeys turn you on? Also, several lyrics sites seem to think the line is “have her Rev running,” but as much as I’d prefer to believe Jeremih threw in a reference to Run-D.M.C.’s Joseph Simmons, I’m pretty sure he’s talking about vaginal secretions.<\/p>\n

Oh, you look so sweet, what you work in Paris?
\nLook at your physique, girl, you are a beauty<\/em><\/p>\n

Another disputed lyric. “Paris” is the consensus, but “Ballys” (as the folks who brought you “wrist piece” posit) makes more sense.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ll buy another round and it\u2019s all on me
\nAs long as I\u2019m around put it down on me
\nJust put it down on me
\nPut it down on me<\/em><\/p>\n

Ah! Jeremih is simply offering to let this girl continue to put drinks on his tab. How considerate! When I saw the title to this song, I assumed it was going to be about oral sex. I guess I misjudged the gentleman.<\/p>\n

Girl, all I really want is you down on me<\/em><\/p>\n

Um, never mind.<\/p>\n

I got her, I won\u2019t let her go
\nI ain’t seen nothing better, yo<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Oh, Fi’ty. What a sweet talker you are! “Girl, I’ve looked around, and it looks like you are as good as it’s gonna get in this club tonight.”<\/p>\n

Make me wanna hit it, hit it
\nHeaven when I\u2019m in it, in it
\nIf I do not fit, I\u2019m gonna make it
\nGirl, you can take it<\/em><\/p>\n

Wha? Oh. Oh no. This is what it’s come to? Just blatantly rapping about forcing his penis in? Oh dear. I never thought I’d be longing for the days of the enlightened sexual discourse of “Too Close<\/a>,” but here we are.<\/p>\n

Ugh, I feel gross. Do me a favor and visit one of these organizations devoted to preventing sexual assault and educating the public about the issue and its causes.<\/p>\n